Spent several hours this weekend working on my self appraisal. These are tricky things. You want to honestly evaluate yourself against your goals so that you know what to do better next year. The trick, though, is to figure out just how honestly to write your failings. Failings jump out in an appraisal. Successes, poorly expressed, end up buried. Business is a game – almost like a card game where you bet the number of hands to win. Aim too low, and even if your estimate is spot on, you still lose. Bet too high, and even if you win more than the next guy, you still don’t end up ahead. I think I bet too high this year. My goals outstripped my ability to deliver. (My project also outstripped any reasonable estimate of how much time and energy work should consume, directly contributing to my delivery problem.) What I did do was great work. What I didn’t do was check off the list of skills enhancing, career development goals – the goal of quickly assimilating new technologies to build a dependable solution that met my clients needs within a very tight timeline overtook all other career development goals. It also overtook a great deal of other time I hadn’t exactly earmarked for career stuff. Luckily, my husband and family don’t keep a file on me, and my pay rate of baby kisses and hugs isn’t tied to a requirements checklist or a timesheet.

Crystal ball in hand, I attempt to set new goals for the next review cycle. Will I bid too high? Settle too low? Bleah – settle, period? Not in my nature. I’ll probably be in the same spot next year. The consolation is knowing how much I achieved. The pain is in knowing how much higher I set the bar.